Hello again. How’re you today?
Though there are several topics that I still want to cover, none of them particularly relate to the two 30 Days of Kink questions that I’m posting the answers to. The questions are, “What are your hard limits?” and “What are your views on the ethics of kink?” I think those questions are a little loaded, considering the fact that I’m in my pajama’s while I eat chips and dip and watch shark week. But, again, there isn’t anything in particular that I feel like writing about.
Well . . . actually . . . it occurs to me that I do have something I can type about . . .
Today He picked me up from work and within a few minutes He told me that tomorrow we’d be spending the day with Freckles. Of course, Freckles isn’t her name, or even her nick-name, but she is a freckle-faced red head. Let me see if I can properly explain her relationship to Him and the group . . . She is the younger sister of Face (which is her nick-name). Face lived with Him for a while when she was in high-school and she dated Junior, before he dated HQ. Face knows Him through her mother’s family, because He was very good friends with her mother’s younger brother. He died, before He met me, but they’re all still close.
Onward . . . Freckle’s recently turned eighteen and she graduated high-school this year. She’s still looking for a job, still living with her parents, still doesn’t have a driver’s license. Normally, those things would deter Him from spending much time with her, but . . . she’s eighteen and still high-school cute. And recently broke up with her boyfriend. As such, He’s offered to pick her up tomorrow morning, so that she can get out a bit.
Unfortunately, this means that my one day a week with Him just became a day that I’m going to spend feeling awkward and second rate. I am not eighteen and high-school cute. I wasn’t even that when I really was eighteen and just out of high-school. I know that this isn’t something that He’s thought of, because I am still half his age and I’m not really bad looking at all . . . but I’m not usually what anyone would call perky.
So, I’m trying to determine what tomorrow will hold. I’d hoped to go out for breakfast with Him and then go tubing down the river. However, that’s not feasible with her spending the day with us. Neither is anything else involving going “out.” Movies, or the beach, or the mall . . . all of that isn’t really going to be an option. Probably, He and she will spend the day down at the apartment pool while I spend the day inside on my laptop or with a book. Because I’m still just not comfortable with being around “competition” . . . even though He was just telling me today that I’m not going anywhere.
That all being said . . . it’s time for dinner and another glass of wine.
Day 10: What are your hard limits?
I covered these in the one of the 30 Days of Submission posts, but I’ll list them again, since there aren’t many!
Dying is a hard limit – so no acts that are likely to result in my death.
Jail is a hard limit – so no acts that will result in a stay in jail. Or at least none that will result in a sentence longer than 30 days, because I’ve known people who’ve gone to jail over some pretty simple and petty things before.
My family is a hard limit – so no acts that will harm them or cause them undue stress.
That’s essentially it, as far as hard limits go. I’d prefer not to do a lot of things, but I consider them soft limits, because the doing of them would never be enough to make me feel forced to leave Him – as the above would. I’d rather not be peed on . . . and I haven’t been . . . but eventually it’s something that He’s probably going to do. And I know that His former slave actually swallowed said pee – the thought of which never fails to make me cringe.
Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
Well, when I read the question my mind instantly goes to the principles of SSC and RACK . . . even though those aren’t principles that I technically live by.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual is a matter of opinion, after all. I feel that I’m completely safe when I’m with Him. I find sanity through surrendering myself wholly to Him. And as far as consent is concerned . . . well I’ve given Him consent to treat me as He likes – whether I like it or not (which is what most people seem to have trouble with).
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink inherently has more merits. I think it is important to be aware of the potential risks that you’re taking when you do something that is . . . well . . . risky. The issue of consent remains, of course, because I’ve found that most people view consent as something that is temporary or limited, even within the context of a Master/slave dynamic. And I do feel that consent is a requirement, too . . . though only the initial consent to relinquish the ability/right to dissent.
That being said, the “ethics of kink” aren’t that different than the ethics of life. Moral principles are still in place.
My hard limits are things that I feel cross my sense of morality and ethics too strongly to ignore, whereas my soft limits don’t do so. And I don’t believe that a one-size answer fits all. People and situations are unique and flexible, so too are the circumstances surrounding kinky practices. And that’s only to be expected, really.